are you the SAT because i’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes
with a ten minute break halfway through for snacks
That’s the most reasonable pick up line I’ve ever heard. You’re hired.
They had never met before, but decided to hug it out in the middle of an airport terminal.
so i was watching the news and this 2nd grader wrote this to the president, vice president, and a congressman. biden was the only one to respond yet. LITERALLY.
WHAT I DONT GET IS WHY PEOPLE TURN OUT TO BE MURDERERS AND STUFF WHEN THEY COULD BE MAKING PEOPLE SMILE AND LAUGH WTF THATS PROBABLY THE MOST SATISFYING THING IN THE WORLD WHY WOULD YOU PASS THAT UP FOR KILLING PEOPLE
Clearly you’ve never had the pleasure of watching the fear in mans eyes as the life flees the wreckage of his body.
i am going to call the police
when i die i want to become a ghost and haunt people and give them little ghost smooches and when they’re feeling down i’d write something like keep going you’re great! but in order to keep up the creepy act i’d write it in blood on their wall
SOMEONE ON THE STREET BELOW MY OPEN WINDOW IS HOLDING AN ACTUAL BOOM BOX PLAYING I BLESS THE RAINS DOWN IN AFRICA AND SCREAMING “TAKE ME BACK LINDA” WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON
